…you cannot even remember your last post.
So what have I been up to? Mostly work and work. It’s Saturday morning, and if you’re thinking, oh there she is blogging because Saturday is not a work day, then you’re very wrong. I am not complaining, nor am I unthankful for the never-ending list of tasks to do, but I suppose I am still in the process of accepting the reality of working life. (We only come on weekends during busy times. That being said, since I started working in mid-August, I’ve probably had more work-weekends than holiday-weekends…) (I’ve also had my share of all-nighters; I am not good at all-nighters. The way my head feels afterwards is just, not normal.)
A lot of questions pop up in my head after being thrown into this new world. Like, what do other people do all day? (in the office.) Obviously architects have drawings and 3D models and some spreadsheets and things, and the big people have meetings and discussions. But what about other professions? Most things seem to involve sitting in front of a computer for long periods of time… not the most interesting of activities.
And issues like, when there are ones who work so hard to the point that they seem to spend little time on anything else in life, are you meant to admire them or pity them? I mean, sometimes they do not have a choice, work is a responsibility, other people are depending on them, there are deadlines, this is how things work, etc. etc. Perhaps they even enjoy the “life”style they are in. Perhaps they are the lucky few who manage to marry their passion with their work. But somehow, to me (and for me), something is still not right. I imagine that work would be awesome as a part-time thing. Then you’d still have time and energy to cook/bake, to read, to catch up on (beneficial stuff on) YouTube, organise things around the house, catch up with members of your family, not to mention old friends whom you haven’t had the time to meet at all since being abroad (and, conversely, the ones still there whom you have barely been able to stay in touch with), and for your hobbies. All the things that you actually enjoy doing.
At the moment, time just flies away. I try to find times or events to look forward to, but often, even weekends are meaningless. I try to go out with old/new friends, but the short and rare outings are such temporary moments of bliss (interrupted by worries about work) (but likely that is just me being the worrier) (inshaAllah I am battling this habit of thinking and stressing too much ). I know that the key to contentment is with Allah, to do everything for Him, to keep your connection to Him in check at all times, but which human being does not struggle with this?
/end annoying, “contemplative”, emo parts of this post.
One of the efforts I’m making to survive is to see the beauty in every day life. I am still a keen mobile photographer (ie. taking random pictures with my cellphone, then uploading them on Facebook later because-I-am-using-a-prepaid-service-and-the-internet-is-crazy-expensive ). My previous workplace was on the fifth floor and had an amazing view of the KL skyline (albeit blocked by the office blinds all the time) (and the dirty window):
And of course the recurring subject of my photos are the cats:
My friends and I went out to take (analogue) photos one day. When the films are developed I’ll post them inshaAllah.
And some things in my trainee-architect life are pretty too. Like:
Related to the picture above, one of the things I’ve learnt is that architects are not artists. Our works are not masterpieces, they are just tools. We cannot be precious with whatever we’ve done, because we (or others) will have to change it, re-do it, delete it, and also because almost nothing is new anymore. Everything is recycled these days.
This is turning into a separate topic, but also, the office is more like a factory sometimes. Buzzing. People dilligently producing … stuff. Almost like robots, especially the experienced staff. This is of course, not a bad thing, but I just had to note down that observation.
Also what keeps me going is messages from friends (like long Facebook ones! ). Letters, too.
I also survive on inspirational/zasss lyrics in songs, quotes, videos, and articles. Indeed He sends something our way at the exact time we need it.
Okay I really gotta go shower then go to work. We can come in late on Saturdays, at least.
I pray for your good health and mind and heart! Laters, salaam!